


Dating? What?

by chocolafied, LunaTheLoneWolf



Series: Crack Creed [8]
Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Ezio is Going To kill me, Fluff and Crack, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Inspired by Real Events, OTP Feels, Parody, no regrets, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 17:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2278017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolafied/pseuds/chocolafied, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaTheLoneWolf/pseuds/LunaTheLoneWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sofia says he has some information on the Templars to get Ezio to go on a picnic. What could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dating? What?

**Author's Note:**

> This actually isn't inspired by anything that happened to us. If anything, this came about because I ship Ezio and Sofia (both mine and the game's) like Fedex. Also, I saw this picture ( http://terra124.deviantart.com/art/Picnic-Date-444196634 ) and couldn't help myself. XD

**Characters in this story:**

 

* * *

It was a lovely day in Constantinople. The sun was shining, the birds were singing… it would be beautiful to most people.

Too bad the assassin trudging up the hill wasn’t like most people.

She would have loved to do nothing more than silence every bird within a hundred feet of her and then shove one of the decaying bodies down the throat of the man who made her come out of the base (and she was now questioning if he really did become a cross dresser with how often he wore that dress). But unfortunately, it was against the creed to kill innocents.

…and he promised her chocolate.

Ezio sighed as she looked around wondering why Sofia asked her to meet with him on the hill. Once she finally found said man with a _picnic_ of all things, she got the sudden urge to run back to the base and never look at him again. But she managed to stay where she was. After all, she _did_ need that information from him…

 _And let’s not forget the chocolate_ , her mind added.

And with an irritated sigh, she continued up to the blanket set out in the grass. Only when her shadow was covering the cross dresser did he look up. “Oh Ezio! I didn’t see you there,” Sofia said with a smile.

Ezio made a mental note to use that later; whether it would be used for teasing or scolding would be determined later. “So,” she hummed as she eyed the picnic, “don’t you think this is a little much for just telling me some information on Templars?”

He patted the space next to him with a mischievous smirk. She gave him a glare and weighed her options. Finally, she huffed as she sat next to him. Sofia smiled once more and Ezio’s eyebrow rose in expectancy. He sighed. “Ah, figures you won’t enjoy a little sunshine and just go straight to business.”

“Can you just get to the point on _why_ I had to wait an hour just to come out here for some information about a shipment?”

“Would it kill you to say ‘please’?”

“Yes; yes it would.”

Sofia rolled his eyes and looked in the basket for something. “Right, the shipment… it was cancelled.”

She stared at him in disbelief. “For how long?” she asked slowly, ~~thinking~~ _hoping_ he would give her more important information that would make coming out here worth her time.

“Indefinitely.”

Everything went silent for a moment. Then the gates of hell that was Ezio’s temper broke loose. “YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU MADE ME COME ALL THE WAY OUT HERE _JUST_ SO YOU CAN TELL ME A SHIPMENT WAS CANCELED?”

Sofia looked up with a smile that, to anyone else, would look sheepish. To _Ezio_ however…

It was pure **_evil_**.

“Maaaaaaybe,” he practically _sung_. A fire made out of hell’s purest flames erupted in Ezio’s eyes, but before she could go into another screeching fit (and possibly murder Sofia) something was shoved into her mouth. The heavenly chocolate flavor put out the fire. “Oh, would you calm down?” he asked irritably. “If you want me to say ‘I’m sorry’, then fine. _I’m sorry_ for lying to you just so that we could have a nice chat like we used to _without_ the annoying recruits that follow you around like freaking _ducklings_ **OR** without Yusuf teasing us for even being in the same _room_ together, let alone _talking_.”

She blinked for a moment before she managed to dislodge the giant chunk of chocolate from her teeth (oh she would love him later for that gift of chocolate gold). She thought it over for a minute before nodding. “Yeah,” she finally breathed, “I guess that _is_ true.” Ezio turned the block over in her hand in thought before deciding on what she would do. “Alright,” she said looking at Sofia, “You have until I am finished with this chocolate to talk and then we are packing up and leaving; got it?”

And Sofia, being the smart boy he is, nodded in agreement; already knowing the chocolate would be gone into her stomach before the day was up. “Fine; just leave _some_ room for the other food I brought?” he asked as he took out some of the packages from the basket.

Little did the two know that, as they continued their talking, some very obvious recruits in white hoods were hiding in the bushes a few yards away. The fact that they could only hear bits and pieces of the conversation didn’t even come close to discouraging them as they continued to spy.

Half an hour into this spying mission, someone else came up the hill, spotted one of the recruit in particular, and walked right up to him. “Baby Bird, what are yo—“

Said recruit quickly turned around, covered the speaker’s mouth, and pulled them to the ground. All the other recruits ducked as well before the picnic couple could see them. Once it was all clear, Baby Bird actually looked down only to find himself covering, a now _very annoyed_ , Yusuf’s mouth. In order to get out of being killed at the immediate moment, he quickly whispered to her, “We’re spying on Mama Bird’s date with Papa Bird; be quiet!”

And for the next hour or so, the recruits were being supervised on “how to spy on targets without them knowing” by Yusuf.

~~~One Day Later At the Base~~~

“So Ezio,” Yusuf said slapping the older assassin on the back with a happy smirk and effectively knocking the wind out of her. “How was your date?”

“M-my **_what_**?” the mentor asked, slightly out of breath.

“Your date with Sofia!”

There was a long pause of silence. “Yusuf,” Ezio said lowly, “ ** _where_** on earth did you hear this?”

“Hmm? Oh, from BB of course!”

“Of _course_.”

And so, for the second time this month, Baby Bird was incarcerated.

**Author's Note:**

> Yusuf: So before Ezio can find and maim me, Feedback is awesome and flames will be used for setting De la la la's pants on fire.
> 
> Ezio: YUSUUUUUUUUUUF!!! D[
> 
> Yusuf: Timetorunbye! -gets chased into the sunset-


End file.
